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  • Writer's pictureSaundra Smyrski

Dear Special Needs Mom...

Dear Special Needs Mom,

On this Mother’s Day, May 9, 2021 and forever more, I want you to know you are not invisible! I see you. I feel you. I hear you. Why? Because I am/was you.

I want you to know I understand.

As you frequently hear, “Happy Mother’s Day,” you think to yourself, is it really- happy?

You see, the life you once imagined for your new "bundle of joy," is not the reality you are faced with, day in and day out.

As your circle of friends are getting together for playdates, you are taking your child to therapy. As the moms in your circle head for manis and pedis, you are taking your child to therapy. As every mother of neuro-typical children is celebrating today, you cannot help but think of the upcoming week full of… therapy.

Your friends all proudly announce the latest and greatest that their little one is doing, ahead of schedule at that! Meanwhile, you pretend to not feel “some type of way” for they can be so insensitive to your circumstances.

Your friends are juggling baseball, and soccer, gymnastics, and dance. Meanwhile… you are jugging PT & OT, Speech and Feeding therapy.

While your friends sleep well at night, knowing they have nailed the parenting role, you stay up, filled with guilt, as your neurotypical child constantly gets the short end of the stick.

As your friends sit next to their little one, applauding as they get the high score on their computerized learning platform, you sit at your computer for hours on end, trying to research something tangible, to make life a little easier and your little one's life- a whole lot better.

While your friends feel down when their child seems unappreciative, you cry late at night thinking, “I've got to do more.”

As your friends gripe about teacher selections this year, you sit worry-stricken as the picking for special needs educators is immensely scarce, and “quality” special needs educators- a needle in a haystack.

You cringe when you hear people complain about their Starbucks being cold.

Guilt-stricken you find yourself questioning (silently) “Why me,” more than you would care to admit.

You neglect your health, and skip your appointments, as any stamina you have, you must save to provide.

Listen mama, I know you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, and like no one else sees this but you. I want you to know, I see you. I see you persevering day in and day out. I see you. I see you doing everything in your power to give your child the best life possible, as you rob yourself of any sort of normalcy. I see you.

I see your selfless heart, your innovative mind, and your caregiving hands all working tirelessly, round the clock, in hope for continued progress, or at least a brighter tomorrow.

Today, if never before, please know... YOU ARE AMAZING! Please believe... YOU ARE RESILIENT! ...And you must affirm, “I AM ENOUGH!”

…And in case you have not heard it lately, “I’m so damn proud of you!”

Happy Mother’s Day, Beloved!

All My Love, Saundra

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